'Mommy'

What is it about that word that is so powerful? I mean, okay, I'm only a mommy by luck and circumstance and it is still so crippling. I don't know what to do when SmartyPants calls me Mommy. Granted, he only does it out of sheer love or sheer greed, the little sneak!

Mommy is reserved for when I am doing something that benefits him entirely. Say, buying cupcakes for his birthday party at school. I also get called Mommy when he is trying to drag out his bed time. He knows that that one little word complete screws me up. It makes my heart melt and my tummy do flips. And. he. knows. He knows that I don't expect to be called Mommy one bit. He has one of those, even if he only sees her every now and again. But he knows how to throw a Mommy out there to get his way.


Fortunately for us, he hasn't learned that he can use his power for evil yet. Because I imagine one day I will be sitting in front of a judge with a public defender at my side swearing "No, Your Honor, it was me who stole that two wheeled death machine motorcycle and raided the girl's dorm at UCLA. I was totally on a pantie raid and it was definitely me who had the drugs, sir. Definitely, definitely me" like some female Rain Man in Capri pants and flipflops. All because SmartyPants will have called me from a holding cell saying "Moooommyyyyyyyy." Gah! I. am. so. screwed.

The other side of this Mommy coin is that it makes me feel so distraught. I hate that I am only Mommy sometimes. I am a little jealous of the fact The Incubator is ALWAYS Mommy. Mostly I am jealous that she gets that title with zero effort on her part and here I am, pulling my hair out to make sure that he knows that not all women will bail out on him. I spend so much time trying to convince him that she just couldn't get out of work to spend time with him or that it really is possible for someone to have 397million tummy aches in one week and that's why she didn't call. I just wish that we could both be Mommy (full time) and both put in full time work to make sure he has the best possible chance for survival out there.

Because the world is a cruel place. The kind of place where, at thirty when his own kids are going nuts on him, he will be calling home asking for Mommy.

Kinda like I do from time to time.